Saying goodbye to your cat

When your cat's quality of life is affected by injury, illness or old age, putting them to sleep (euthanasia) may be the only way to ease their suffering. It's a heart breaking decision to face for any cat's family. But your vet will be able to guide you through the process when necessary.

What are the signs of poor quality of life in cats?

When you visit the vet, you'll hear them talking about your cat's 'quality of life'. This is a term they use to understand how much they are enjoying their lives, and see if there are times where they may be struggling.

Signs your cat's quality of life might be declining or changing can include:

• eating less or not eating
• signs of illness (such as vomiting, coughing or diarrhoea)
• difficulty breathing
• avoiding physical contact
• sitting or lying in an unusual position
• crying
• disorientation or confusion
• not wanting to go outside
• refusing to come in from the garden
• change in toilet habits or incontinence (toileting on the floor where they wouldn't usually)
• unable to groom their coat, matting of the coat or loss of patches of fur
• poor mobility, especially after rest
• restlessness when lying down or sleeping
• aggressive behaviour towards people or other pets

My cat has a long-term illness, how will I know when the time is right

Assessing your cat's long-term quality of life can be difficult, even for your vet. Cats do not always show pain by crying or yowling and they tend to change their natural behaviours to cope with the pain (like sleeping more than usual) instead. They may also mask other signs of struggling until their condition is serious. Because of this, it can be hard to spot gradual changes over time – especially if your cat has good and bad days.

If you are hoping for an improvement in your cat's condition, setting a time limit may be a sensible option. You can also ask your vet about quality of life questionnaires. These can help you to monitor all the different areas of your cat's life, to see how things are changing over time.

Sadly, few cats die peacefully in their sleep at home. Most reach a point when their quality of life is poor and a decision for euthanasia is the kindest option.

What if my cat dies suddenly?

A sudden or unexpected loss, can leave you feeling shocked and struggling to cope. Our trained professionals are here to help you through.

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How should I prepare for my cat being put to sleep?

Once you've made the decision, it can take its toll emotionally. To help you through what can be a difficult time you may want to consider:

• taking some time off work to process what has happened
• explaining the situation to the vet receptionist when you make the appointment – you can often choose a quiet time to visit the surgery
• taking a friend or family member with you for support

What happens during euthanasia?

Before your cat is put to sleep, your vet will usually talk you through the process and ask you to sign a consent form. The form will usually ask about your choices for your cat once they've passed on – such as your decision on cremation. Once this form is completed, the vet will begin the process.

Euthanasia is usually carried out by injecting an overdose of anaesthetic into the vein of the front leg. But the injection can be given to other areas of the body as well.

1. Your cat will be held by a nurse and a small patch of fur will be shaved off. Your cat may need an IV placed before the injection is given.
2. Your cat will be given the injection. This is painless, but they may give a small cry – as with all anaesthetics, there is a brief feeling of dizziness as the drug takes effect
3. Unconsciousness follows within seconds, often before the injection is finished
4. Death occurs within a couple of minutes when the heart stops beating. It may take a little longer if your cat is very ill or has poor circulation.
5. In the few minutes after your cat has passed you may see twitching, or hear gasps of air. These are not signs of life. They are reflexes that naturally occur when a cat passes away.
6. Your cat's eyes usually stay open and the bladder sometimes empties

In some situations, your cat may be taken to a prep area to receive IV access or a sedative before the injection. This will make them feel relaxed and less worried about being handled by the vet. Stress can make finding a vein more difficult and the injection may work more slowly. 

Your vet will be able to let you know the best options for your cat. Always feel free to ask questions about what to expect at the appointment, especially if your cat may be agitated or restless. This will help you to prepare.

Should I stay with my cat during euthanasia?

This is a very personal decision. You may want to discuss this with your family about what's right for you and your cat prior to the day. It's also important to consider children in the family during this decision. We are also hear to help via our Pet Loss Support service.

Because of the close bond you have with your cat, they may find comfort in knowing you're there with them too.

What if I can't stay?

If you have chosen not to be present or were unable to because of circumstances beyond your control, please try not to feel guilty. The vet and vet nurse will do everything they can to comfort your cat as they pass away.

What happens after euthanasia?

Before your cat has been put to sleep, you'll be asked what you would like to do with their body. Considering your options before the appointment can help you to make this important decision ahead of time.

You can choose between:

• burial – there are pet cemeteries which vets usually have details on. Alternatively, you can take their body home to bury them. Be sure to speak with your vet as there are some rules about where you are legally allowed to bury them.
• cremation – usually, this is communal cremation with other cats. But you can arrange for individual ashes to be returned, although this may be expensive.

If you are undecided, then vets can usually store the body for a short time while you consider your options.

What can I do to remember my pet?

There are lots of things you can do to help remember your pet. You could:

• ask the vet if you can keep a lock of hair – don't be embarrassed, as this is a common request for vets
• perform a ceremony, like a funeral, with all those who loved your cat
• create a pet memorial
• make a scrapbook of memories or a digital compilation
• set up a little shrine in the corner of a room with a photo of them and a candle
• write a goodbye letter and bury it with them
• write a poem or short story talking about your life with them
• share your loss with others who have been through it
• become a volunteer and help others through their pet loss

How can I support my children through pet loss?

For children it can be especially upsetting as it may be their first experience of death. Children need support even if they are not outwardly upset.

Talk to them honestly about what is happening and, as far as possible, involve them in the decision making.

More on children and pet loss

Will my other pets feel loss?

Like humans, pets also show signs that could be interpreted as grief. When an owner or fellow pet passes away, pets can show a range of behaviours from crying or searching, to a loss in appetite. 

If you have another cat, you may find their behaviour changes quite a lot. Some may appear more confident or begin to occupy areas of your home or garden they didn't before - this is all perfectly normal.

How pets cope with loss

Should I get another cat?

This is a completely personal choice and will depend on your own circumstances and how ready you feel.

No two cats are the same and, although you may get another that looks similar, your new cat will have a different personality. So it's worth remembering that your relationship is not a 'replacement' but it can still be rewarding.

Some people feel that a new cat helps them to move on and process their grief. While you will never forget your pet, a new cat can bring joy and laughter back into your home. But it's important to consider the impact on other pets in your household too. Multi-cat households can be complicated if the cats have not grown up together.

If you feel you would like to get another cat, please consider rehoming from one of our rehoming centres.

Rehome a cat

Is it normal to feel upset?

When you arrive back home, be prepared for the house to feel empty. It'll be hard at first but take each day as it comes, try to treasure your memories and talk to family and friends about it.

It's entirely natural to feel upset when your cat dies. After all, your cat is a beloved family member.

The first thing is not to feel embarrassed about showing your emotions – vets expect you to be upset. It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one, and, although reactions differ, you will often feel a mixture of things, such as:

• sadness
• loneliness
• anger
• guilt
• doubt

Though it's natural, try not to feel guilty or blame yourself – the decision for euthanasia is taken with your cat's best interests at heart to avoid them suffering.

Some people find themselves questioning whether they did the right thing. It is normal to feel some doubt, though this will ease in time.

How we can help

Sometimes it helps to share your feelings with someone who knows from personal experience how distressing the loss of a cat can be, and who will listen with compassion and without judgement.

Pet Loss Support offers free support to grieving pet owners, through a national network of trained volunteers. We're here seven days a week via phone, email and webchat.

Telephone: 0800 096 6606 (seven days a week, 8.30am – 8.30pm)
Email: [email protected]

Webchat (available on our website in the bottom right corner of the page)

We also have a Facebook group if you'd like to join a community of people supporting each other through their grief.